A Chance at Loving You Page 4

  “I want to say, sorry, Dani. I know our relationship isn’t as good as it should be…and it’s my fault. I was just daddy when you were too young to understand. When you were able to see, then I became Daddy, the nasty bastard. I’m the root of all the problems that you and Rainbow have to this day because you didn’t understand how she could love a man like me; a cheater, a liar. You saw the broken pieces that I wasn’t willing to acknowledge because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Even now, I’m still doing what I want, when I want, cuz I should have changed my ways and married your Mother years ago. I’m so selfish,” he finishes on a sigh, as he puts the ring away.

  “Are you sick or in trouble?”

  “No,” he replies.

  “Then, it’s never too late to get it right,” I smile.

  “Thank you,” he beams. “The example I showed you isn’t the way it should be,” he presses.

  “So, you’re telling me that there’s hope that I can have it all?”

  Dad tilts his head to the side. “What I’m saying is you better demand it all. Dick is like pussy, it loses its luster with time. That’s why for some, it’s replaceable…but the heart, when you know that a person actually loves you, is loyal…temptation can’t make you stray.”

  “And if Austin isn’t willing, then I really should just move the hell on,” I remark sadly.

  “I warned him that you weren’t on the block for a test drive. If he wanted to get behind the wheel, he needs to sign on the dotted line or kick rocks down the street.”

  A surge of energy flows through me.

  “You did?”

  “I made it very clear that if he showed interest, he better be willing to go all in. Now,” he leans in to drive home his point. “this is the biggest negotiation of your life, make sure to read the fine print, raise the stakes when it’s time, and don’t take nothing less than the price you’ve set. I promise, he’ll see the value,” he finishes with a smirk.

  Suddenly, I develop a smirk of my own.

  “I have a dinner date tonight…with Kwaye from college.”

  “Smart girl,” he winks. “I’ll be sure to let Austin know about it when the time is right.

  CHAPTER THREE

  DANI

  The right time, according to my Dad, came a little after 11pm…and right on time in my book. Let me tell you about Kwaye. On all accounts on the surface, he’s a catch. Tall, muscular, skin a flawless dark chocolate, golden eyes…the man looks like he just walked out of a magazine. He’s perfect. The problem is that he knows it, thanks to every female that’s lost weight running after his playboy ass. The fact that I never tripped at his feet had seemed to put me in his headlights. The tables have turned, I’m the one he’s chasing. Sure, he knows I’m so-called married, but he knows how Mitch is, too. I just wish Kwaye had more to talk about than himself and trying to make everything sound sensual.

  I damn near jump out of my skin at the pounding on the door.

  “Mitch?” Kwaye wonders.

  “Nah,” I wave my hand. “Stay here,” I say, stopping him from standing.

  Not only don’t I want him talking too much, I don’t want Kwaye noticing my actions when I round the corner, out of his sight. While I jog for the door, I transform by jerking off my jacket and stepping out of the satin harem pants to reveal the blood orange, wrap dress I had hidden underneath. I quickly toss the clothes in the coat closet. In place, I run to work up a convincing pant before I swing open the door.

  “Hold up!” I cry while taking a step back from his fist going in to pound the door. ‘What is it?”

  Just as I knew he would, Austin takes in my clinging dress with its plunging neckline. In seconds, his expression darkens.

  “You aren’t going to invite me in?”

  “I’m busy…dinner.”

  “Hum,” he nods.

  The view of the world shifts in an instant. Austin shoves me out of the way to stalk into the room.

  “Oh!” The sound of my back colliding with the wall drowns out my cry.

  “Son of a bitch,” I snap.

  “Yes, yes she was. Is the motherfucker in here?”

  I have to power walk to catch up to Austin long strives.

  “I told you that…there’s no one in here. See!”

  I have to dance to the side to get out of his way when he turns to leave one room to continue on his search. It was only then that I noticed the luggage on wheels in tow.

  “What’s that?” I ask, pointing at the large Samsonite suitcase. “Why are you-“

  “Ah, what a picture-perfect setting. Hello, I’m Austin.”

  He’s not even listening to me. All he’s focused on is what he deems to be his competition in the room. From the way Kwaye shakes Austin’s hand, this is the start of a pissing contest.

  “Is he your uncle?”

  Okay, that’s petty. A man knows when another one is trying to stake his claim. Kwaye knows damn well Austin isn’t acting this way because he’s my family. No, he’s pointing out Austin’s age.

  Still shaking Kwaye’s hand, Austin gives him a bright, unfazed, toothy grin.

  “No, I’m the one that’s going to be giving Dani’s pussy a good airing out. Oh, steak,” Austin finishes, nonchalantly.

  “The setting is for two,” I stress while running to the table.

  “When did you chang-“

  “Shut up and sit down,” I reply, cutting Kwaye off.

  He narrows his eyes at me. No doubt he’s figured out why I suggested dinner.

  “Nah, I didn’t come over here for games. Enjoy your night,” he hisses.

  Tossing his napkin down, he walks out of the room. I glance back to find Austin’s giddy grin on his handsome face.

  “I’m starving. Did you order the potatoes?” he asks while lifting the top of a tray. “Oh,” he coos, as he rubs his hands together.

  I grind my teeth at the sight of him moaning over the first bite.

  “Are you going to eat yours?”

  That question motivates me to take my seat. I’ll be damned if I miss out on a chance of this meal. This is what I’ve been wanting, after all. However, I keep my movements stiff and hide the smile I want to display from showing. Two bites in, and I’ve forgotten he’s sitting at the table.

  “Mumm,” I moan while slicing another delicious piece off.

  “This restaurant alone is worth buying the hotel.”

  I shift in my seat. “That might be the only reason,” I remark.

  “Oh, what have you noticed that we haven’t?”

  AUSTIN- Limits

  I never took note of the joy in just watching Dani talk. The way her full lips form every word, as if she’s making love to the sounds she utters. Over the years, she managed to shed the baby fat of her youth, but not in all the right places…including her cheeks. The added weight is perfect for housing the dimples that are too beautiful to ignore. Yet, it’s not just skin deep. Her appeal is more than the lust of the flesh, but also the brightness of her mind…., which is on full display.

  “No one would be willing to unload a gold mind unless it’s about empty,” she points out while sipping her wine.

  “That’s why we never sign on the dotted line until you say so.”

  “Oh, so I’m more than my name?”

  I can’t tell if she’s setting me up with that comment because her eyes are hidden behind her lids.

  “I don’t follow?”

  “Oh, course not.”

  “Then stop with the word games and explain,” I press.

  “I just wonder if the reactions I get on these business trips are genuine or if it’s put on…kinda like how my actual brothers don’t do shit but have all the reward?”

  “Ah,” I reply, as I lower my fork. I clear the lingering particles from my teeth with a sweep of my tongue. “I know you don’t want a free ride, but you resent how Phil caters to those two little shits. I’m assuming you feel the same way about my turd, too?”

  “Ugh,” she gro
ans with a deep eye roll.

  I tap the table, as I debate if I should embark on the line of conversation so early in this war.

  “You are aware that he likes you.”

  “And?”

  Dani raises her eyes to stare at me.

  “That fact never gave you pause about you and I?”

  She shrugs. “Was I supposed to get with him to make him happy? Or shouldn’t I do what makes me happy?”

  “That’s not what I’m-“

  “So, is your boy’s ill-placed affections the reason why you were willing to lose out on being with me?”

  “Well your age-“

  “Oh, please, Austin. You fuck’em young. If you’re going to lie, then finish your food and leave,” she says, before ignoring me for the contents on her plate.

  “The boy hates me. I didn’t want to give him another reason,” I admit at last.

  “Thank you for your honesty, so I’m going to share a bit with you,” she pauses to swallow hard. “You treat Nathan like shit.”

  I blink in shock at her words. So, it’s going to be one of those talks.

  “Why don’t you tell me how to be a parent?”

  Shit, there’s no denying my sarcasm.

  “It will be easy since he and I are the same age, huh?”

  She puts a hand up to stop me.

  “Bottom line… what I said is true. He’s like shit smeared on your shoe. Nothing he can do is good enough. Nathan is weak, walking around with little to no real self-confidence because you had a falling out with his mom. Imagine him growing up in a house, having to hear that woman talk shit about you when all he wanted to do is be loved by you. Then to be a man and find out you are the asshole she talked about.”

  “Can I respond?”

  “Sure, I’m ready for your lies,” she mumbles, before taking a long sip from her glass.

  “I can’t do nothing with that boy.”

  “See, that right there. He’s a man, not a damn boy. It all starts with respect, which is something you don’t seem to be able to give.”

  “Am I cussing you the fuck out right now? No, so I can give respect,” I snarl.

  “Only after you’ve seen me getting my carpet munched. Why not all those times before…when I was saving myself for you? So, it’s the slut that turns you on?”

  “Jesus, you’re not pulling any punches,” I grumble.

  “You crashed the party.”

  I fall silent. This is not what I expected. You know the warning about love? The one that says that the right person will push all your buttons, will get you out of your comfort zone and will force you to either shit or get off the pot. Giving yourself over to love is scary because it makes you change, evolve into a better version of yourself if you are willing to put in the work. Am I willing, though?

  “Nathan is like his mother. He is weak. He caves at the first push of resistance. What he is able to accomplish usually is from bullying, lies, or flat out cheating.”

  “But you still allow him to live off that shiny black card.”

  “He is my son,” I growl.

  “But you aren’t a father,” she counters.

  The objects on the table shake from the slamming of my fist on the table. Dani jumps.

  “When do we get to talk about you?” I hiss.

  “Allow me,” she begins. “I’m an overachiever because I never wanted to be like my Mama.”

  “What’s wrong with Rainbow? She’s loving and-“

  “She’s a woman that’s wasted her life on a man that never showed her enough respect to be faithful and make an honest woman of her. She could have done so many things, followed her dreams, but she poured all herself into making a life for my Dad. Shit, all she has to show is a GED. Her life is the value of a man. I never want that. I want to have my own dreams, accomplishment, a sense of self, confidence that isn’t hinged on a man. I push myself because I’m a woman… and a woman of color, I want my merit to be sound, earned, and not given…and even after all of that, I still go to bed wondering if I am enough. I wonder if love is a pipe dream, and the concept of a real marriage is a relic of the past.”

  “You’re more than enough, too much actually. That fact can make a man scared. I’m being honest. Being face to face with a woman as in tuned as you are is scary.”

  “Or is it that I can spot bullshit a mile away?”

  “Well…maybe that too,” I sigh. “So, Mitch was a tantrum?”

  I’m prepared for her to lie.

  “He was a last ditched effort to let you be my prince in shining armor.”

  Dani surprises me again when she doesn’t. Dani and I, I don’t think we could ever hide anything from each other. Her constant sadness is back.

  “Listen, we’ll talk on this topic, then move the hell on. Agreed?”

  “Okay.”

  I toss the linen napkin on the table.

  “Marriage isn’t a thing of the past, Dani.”

  “But not for you?”

  “I-I,” I work my mouth, sigh, and try again. “The short version.” Dani nods. “I started too young. I was fuckin’ by twelve. The world says that it’s okay for a man to start young, but it’s a lie. We aren’t ready. I damn sure wasn’t. I was looking for the love I wasn’t getting from home between the thighs of girls, women that were looking for a hard-working sucker, and his paycheck. Although I should’ve been smart enough to know that all women aren’t the same, I just found it easier to group them as such. Or I just did my best to pick women from that same group to make using them easier.”

  “And now?”

  “Now,” I repeat in a whisper. “I don’t know what I am doing. I-I,” I pause to steady my shaky voice. “Sitting and watching you get married was the hardest thing to do. Knowing that you’re going to be free to do what I spied you doing today by the pool enrages me. I want to be the one making you smile, happy, scream, moan, Lord, I’m getting off-topic,” I mumble under my breath, as I adjust myself under the table.

  “I’ve waited a long time to get to this point, Austin. I want all or nothing.”

  “But why? You’re still young. What’s the rush in marrying?” I stress.

  “That’s what I was made for. Even if it takes me walking down the aisle five times till I find love, that’s what I’m willing to do,” she admits.

  “So, when I die?”

  Dani shakes her head slowly. “Nothing, no one could replace you, Austin. You’re my forever friend, remember?” she smiles.

  I chuckle at the memory.

  “You are my love found, Austin,” she adds.

  “I swear, you’ve been here before. You’re an old soul, but are you sure you don’t want to run aroun- no,” I snap. “Forget that.”

  Dani laughs at my about-face. I’m thunderstruck that I’ve missed times like this with her. There is a closeness between us that can’t be denied. This woman at such a tender age has me figured out like no other person has. Well, isn’t that what true love is all about? To be able to be yourself, no games, no judgment.

  “What is it?” she asks.

  Keeping with the vibe of the night, “It’s fear. The fear that you’ll finally get what’s been blinding you only to see it’s plastic.”

  “May I?”

  Dani doesn’t wait for my reply. My breath is stolen away at the sight of her standing to approach me. All the others, and there’s been many, don’t hold a candle to this brown goddess of pure perfection. I can’t move. It takes a second for me to realize that she’s kissing me. A wave of searing heat washes over me to singe my loins. The raw reaction to the feel of her mouth mastering mine is a staggering one. If all she intended was a kiss, then Dani should have thought things through.

  It takes no effort on my part to lift her up on the table before me. In this position, her legs are open wide. Taking advantage, my hand gravitates between her legs to brush against her lace enclosed pussy lips. Our moans fill the room. Now, the choice at hand.

  Go for it.

&nbs
p; Or

  Run away! You go poking… you’ll have to buy it. Have you forgotten about-

  Shit! That’s right. I can’t do this.

  What the hell you’re doing? Missing out on the best sex of your life? Dani’s the one.

  Oh hell, Dani’s scooting her panties to the side.

  Check the wetness level. Go on.

  I palm her shaved pussy. I marvel over the softness of her plump lips, the heat it’s giving off. Just the tip, I promise myself. Her thick juices coat my finger.

  If you go there, it’s over. You heard what Phil said. Dani isn’t a plaything.

  Instead of putting an end to things, I deepen the kiss as I insert two fingers into the tightest pussy I’ve had in a while. Like chocolate, she’s melting into my hand. I stand back to marvel at this sexual creature when she covers my hand with hers to force me deeper. Eyes half mast, Dani grinds and rides my digits. Unable to deny my hunger, I drop to my knees. Now, I’m in control as I lick and tease her clit while fuckin’ her with my fingers. I say nothing at the pressure on the back of my head. Dani is making her request loud and clear. She’s begging to experience my eating game in full effect…and I give it to her.

  Unlike the young jit by the pool, I’m not trying to strip her clit of all sense of feeling. I apply just enough pressure while preforming the figure-8 pattern over her sensitive pussy. I’m not trying to rape her cunt with brute force. Instead, I take my time, make love to the ball of quivering nerves until I’m rewarded with a gush of cum that I lap up. Even after her first release, I continue on.

  Ripping her panties off, I pull up a seat, push her further back on the table, and go in for the main course. It never mattered to me the fashion used to make my lover satisfied, as long as they are, and more than once. My fingers work their magic on Dani. Two in her pussy, my thumb on her clit, I dip low to lick and munch her ass. Her screams of shock followed by moans of bliss is all I need to encourage me to keep it up. There is no off limits for me when it comes to sex. If it feels good, I’m willing to do it.

  Moments later, I lean back to survey my handy work. Pussy lips swollen, wet with juices, her pretty pink center flinching from over simulation, and a panting Dani is a picture I’ll take with me to the grave. Grabbing the sharp knife from the table, I slice her dress down the middle to reveal her nude body beneath. I take a second to determine where my mouth is going to go next.